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Harvard to Settle Question of God's Existence

Officials at Harvard University today announced a bold experiment designed to settle once and for all the question of God's existence.Recently Harvard has come under fire for rejecting a recommendation that all undergraduates be required to take a cl... [Read the full post]


Congratulations on Your New Testicles!

Congratulations! You've just purchased a pair of novelty testicles for your truck, SUV or other vehicle.With the purchase of this fine product you have joined the informal fraternity of novelty nutsack owners -- the three million men (and possibly w... [Read the full post]


Shocking Truth Behind Dinosaur Hoax Revealed

At first it seemed like a harmless joke: A 10 foot long model of a dinosaur which, despite being constructed entirely of dirt, was convincing enough to fool a veteran paleontologist who had twice won the Kenmore Silver Star Award for most microwaves... [Read the full post]


You Think This is Funny?

If you're like me, you're pretty tired of all the shameless traffic-building gimmicks that I employ on this blog to attract more readers. If you wanted to be bombarded by ads and other annoying crap, you'd be using MySpace, right? Right.So I'm work... [Read the full post]


Bush Fiddles While Moon Deteriorates

In a ritual that is becoming all too familiar, scientists have once again announced troubling news from outer space. Despite repeated assurances from the Bush administration regarding prospects for long term lunar stability, it appears that the moon... [Read the full post]


If It's Tuesday I Must Be At the Snark

...so head over there to read my thoughts on how the U.S. can retain its cinematic supremacy.I've decided to kill the Psych-Geist. It was kind of fun creating dummy posts to frustrate visitors looking for Playboy centerfolds and the USC Song Girl As... [Read the full post]


A Slurry of Monsters

As my wife and I were walking through our almond orchard the other day, inspecting the trees for blight, rust and urban sprawl, I caught a glimpse of a distant gathering of undead creatures. At first I thought they were zombies, but they could have ... [Read the full post]


A Bunch of Weird Things About Me

So I had this great idea for a post about how Spider-Man is the Antichrist, but I couldn't come up with any evidence except this:Which is probably enough for these guys, but I was hoping to find something a little more damning. But let's face it, Sp... [Read the full post]


Ripon Man Discovers New Dinosaur Species

RIPON, January 18 — Paleontologists stunned the world today by announcing the discovery of a new species of dinosaur. The first known specimen of akathasaurus was found on a ten acre parcel of land owned by Ripon resident Rob Kroese. Kroese found th... [Read the full post]


The Top 10 U.S. Presidents - Now 100% Context Free!

I generally shy away from politics on this blog, but the other day I saw a bumper sticker that really made me think, as bumper stickers often do to thoughtful people like myself. It read:Well that hit me like a ton of bricks. How true! I mean, unl... [Read the full post]


Toilet Humor

I'm guessing that Anita will enjoy this post....My seven year old son has taken to pasting helpful notes to objects around our house. The other day, for example, he felt that everyone should know that he and his five year old sister had named their ... [Read the full post]


A Fitting Tribute

If you're like most people, you probably can't imagine living without me. The fact is, however, that one day I'm not going to be around any more, and you need to be prepared for it. Relax, I'm not planning anything; I just want you to be ready for... [Read the full post]


Harry Potter and the Inevitable Slide into Satanism...

Before I became a parent, I was frequently amazed at the over-protectiveness of some people regarding their children. I don't mean parents who make their kids wear helmets while riding their bikes or solving a particularly difficult geometry problem... [Read the full post]


Even a Traffic Whore Has Some Standards

As you all know, I'm a traffic whore. I labor under the delusion that if some day my readers outnumber the teachers who wrote on my report cards "Not meeting his potential," my desperate hunger for approval will at last be sated.To this end, I occas... [Read the full post]


Superman Returns: The Unreleased Version

In Superman Returns, the Man of Steel reappears on Earth after a mysterious five year absence, during which he supposedly searched in vain for remnants of his home world, Krypton. We are led to believe that he was unable to find anything left of Kry... [Read the full post]


Can't We All Just Get Along?

It seems to me that there is a lot of unnecessary strife in this world of ours. Since it's the beginning of a new year, I think this would be a good time to do what we can to eliminate the petty disagreements among us and live like the brothers a... [Read the full post]


This is Not a Post

Today I'm guest posting over at Central Snark, so head over there for my recap of 2006's most disappointing movies. Hey, didn't you hear me? I'm not here. I'm over at Central Snark. Seriously, go away. There's nothing here about the Saddam execut... [Read the full post]


I Pity the Fool Who Tries to Feminize Me

So I started out with the intention of giving a shout-out to this guy, because the powers that be at the church associated with the Christian school where my wife teaches recently cancelled his Modesto show because he encourages people to engage ... [Read the full post]


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