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Vote!

Ok, folks. I had to pick the contenders this week, because Mrs. Diesel was "busy." So if your caption didn't make it, there's still a chance that my wife thinks you're funny. And that's what really matters, isn't it?I'll be back tomorrow with a po... [Read the full post]


All Hail Goat Head

Recently I wrote about how my yard is infested with a satanic weed known as Goat Head. It occurs to me now that my characterization of this plant may have been a little unfair. The fact is that Goat Head is an integral part of the ecosystem in this... [Read the full post]


Caption Contest: Ocean's 13

First things first: If you're here looking for information on my book, scroll down to the Antisocial Commentary Release Party post. Or, if the sight of my surly face is enough to convince you to buy it, just go directly to the order page. Note: to... [Read the full post]


The Antisocial Commentary Release Party!

So, I wrote this book, see.It's pretty darn funny, if I do say so myself. It's got over 50 of my best posts, with all the stupid boring crap taken out and some cool non-boring crap shoved in where the boring crap used to be. It's going to retail fo... [Read the full post]


Aaron Sorkin Developing Show Based on Studio 60

NBC and Warner Bros. TV are back in business with Aaron Sorkin, the mastermind behind The West Wing and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The new show, tentatively titled A Season in Hell, chronicles the travails of the cast and crew of a struggling t... [Read the full post]


Congrats to the Winners!

This week Crazy Aunt Beatrice single-handedly beat off the the competition, proving herself to the master of her domain with this satisfying entry.In second place was Tina, with her paradoxical stage direction:"What I'm trying to say is that I want y... [Read the full post]


The Devil's Weed

It irritates me that marijuana is illegal. Not because I smoke pot, but because I think throwing people in jail for growing marijuana is a phenomenal waste of tax dollars, considering that there are so many other plants that I'd like to see outlawed... [Read the full post]


Thursday Shout-Out

First, I have to thank two of my fellow bloggers for giving me an Awesome Dude Award and a Schmooze Award, respectively. If nothing else, these awards will serve to further confuse people who think they might remember me from high school. I'm not g... [Read the full post]


Continuity Test

Over the past few weeks -- while I've been busy on other projects -- my wife has been dropping hints that she'd like to see a little more progress on our house. One of her less subtle hints appeared in the mail the other day, in the form of a letter... [Read the full post]


Vote!

Ok, folks. It's time to vote for your favorite caption. The winners will be posted on Saturday. I'll be back tomorrow with a post that won't suck nearly as much as yesterday's did.Here are the finalists, as selected by the lovely and infallible Mr... [Read the full post]


Rave Reviews

Rave (rayv), verb1. To talk wildly, as in delirium.2. To talk or write with extravagant enthusiasm.3. (of wind, water, storms, etc.) To make a wild or furious sound; rage.4. To utter as if in madness.5. An act of raving.- Random House Unabridged Dict... [Read the full post]


Caption Contest: Harry Potter!

That's me with what's-his-name, for those of you who aren't familiar with the concept. Submit your caption in the comments by Monday night. Mrs. Diesel will pick her favorites and I'll post them in a poll on Tuesday for you to vote on. Winner rece... [Read the full post]


Thursday Shout-Out: The Web Pen Blog

I have to give a special shout-out today to Howard from The Web Pen Blog. Howard is the first person to send me a pic of himself wearing a Mattress Police t-shirt:Go visit Howard today and tell him how he cool he looks, especially when you can't see... [Read the full post]


My Jesus is Whiter than Your Jesus

God spoke to me today.Well, He didn't literally speak. He sent one of His divine messengers to do the speaking. I was sitting on the porch with my laptop when she approached. "Can I leave one of these here?" she said. I was tempted to pretend tha... [Read the full post]


Diesel in 2020

Here in the U.S. we're about as far away from an election as possible, which can mean only one thing: It's campaign season!Campaign season gets longer and longer with every election, and using simple high school calculus and some PhD-level guesswork... [Read the full post]


Caption Contest Winners!

Congratulations to wyo from Temporary Digression of the Spotted Kind for taking home the coveted autographed digital photo this week.Second place:"Thinker: Foolish flesh-man! No mortal can best me in a game of 'Statues'!Diesel: F*** you and the plint... [Read the full post]


Worst City in the U.S.

I live just north of Modesto, California, which was recently accorded the dubious honor of being the least livable city in the United States. Not "one of the worst" places to live. The worst.Keep in mind that I live in Ripon, a very nice little town... [Read the full post]


Thursday Housekeeping Post

I've finished reading Foreigner by C.J. Cherry, recommended by Claire from Notes from a Wildcat Fan. Read my thoughts on Foreigner at Central Booking. Next up: Haroun and the Sea of Stories, by Salman Rushdie.I guest posted at the Snark today. Do... [Read the full post]


Trying to Keep My Cool (Part 2)

When we left our intrepid and mechanically challenged hero, he was stranded in the foothills 60 miles from home with an overheated car and a completely dry radiator. The sun was going down, coyotes were howling in the distance, and he began to inexp... [Read the full post]


Vote!

Ok, folks. Here are the caption contest finalists. Vote for your favorite and meet me back here on Saturday for the results.Make sure you check out Crummy Joel's letter to his Crummy Neighbor over at Central Snark.And don't forget to come back tom... [Read the full post]


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