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Since my retarded post, I've noticed that several bloggers have begun linking to me whenever they use the word "retarded." It's like I'm becoming the official Internet authority on retardedness. Which is, of course, awesome.I used to be the number ... [Read the full post]
First, let me apologize for all the frequent outages and other weirdness lately on this site and Humor-Blogs.com/Blog-Storm.com. Turns out my server didn't have enough memory to, um, remember that my websites are supposed to stay up for several... [Read the full post]
I have no idea what number Sock Drawer this is. I should have been numbering them all along, but I didn't. Anyway, I'm calling this one #17.**********A few days ago Mrs. Diesel and I were driving past a McDonald's that had a sign in the w... [Read the full post]
There are not, at present, very many good reasons to live in Michigan. The weather blows, the roads are terrible, and even the state's admittedly successful strategy to avoid the economic ups and downs that have plagued other states has consisted pr... [Read the full post]
You know what I hate? Those hot air blowers that they have in public restrooms these days instead of paper towel dispensers. Everybody hates those things. And the manufacturer knows that people hate them. That's why they put those big labels on th... [Read the full post]
If you're like most Americans, you're confused by the news media's coverage of the recent tribulations in the stock market. Short selling, P/E ratios, beef jerky futures ... what does it all mean?Now, thanks to me, you no longer even have to read th... [Read the full post]
Most people can't write for shit.I never realized this until I started my first "real" job, as a technical support representative for a big software company, when I was 25. As a philosophy major, I was accustomed to writing long, excruciatingly deta... [Read the full post]
First, I'd like to thank those of you who, according to Technorati, have been linking to me since December 31, 1969. It takes a lot of faith to link to a blog that doesn't yet exist, written by someone who hasn't yet been born, using technology that... [Read the full post]
Occasionally someone will attempt to engage me in a conversation about the U.S. presidential election, an endeavor that inevitably ends in failure and disappointment. The attempted conversation, I mean, although the description fits the election pro... [Read the full post]
The other day I noticed that my shampoo bottle claims that its contents were "not tested on animals."This should make me feel good, I suppose, but as usual I thought too hard about what that statement meant exactly, and ended up irritated, confused a... [Read the full post]
So this morning I woke up and thought, "Damn, I've got nothing to post today." So I checked my email in the hopes that somebody from the office had sent me some funny blond jokes from 1994. Sadly, I found only the usual spate of emails complaining ... [Read the full post]
You lucky bastards. You must have been really good to deserve another sock drawer post already. Like, you must have totally signed up at BlogCatalog and gave my blog glowing reviews and stuff. You guys rock! If you keep this up, pretty soon this ... [Read the full post]
Suzy once told me she never reads her reviews. I don’t know if she’s just gotten a lot of bad reviews, or if she just figures that she’s going to do what she wants to do, so, you know, screw other people’s opinions.I read my reviews, such as they ar... [Read the full post]
On the way in to work in the San Francisco Bay area, I often drive past cars bearing a patchwork of bleeding heart bumper stickers, giving lip service to causes from Greenpeace to NOW. Today, however, I saw one that I hadn’t seen before. It read si... [Read the full post]
Some of my new readers may be surprised to learn that I am, in fact, a Christian. I know it's kind of hard to tell, because I don't really believe in pushing my beliefs on people. Also, I'm kind of a jackass.Maybe what I need is a blog banner with ... [Read the full post]
My six year old daughter once said of one of the teachers at her school, "Mrs. _____ is really strong." She added, by way of clarification, "Because we can't say fat."I'm not sure where my daughter got the idea that strong is an appropriate euphemis... [Read the full post]
It always puzzles me when someone talks about the conflict between science and religion. I’m a religious person and I also believe in the value of science, yet I’ve never experienced any conflict. I feel like I must be doing one of them wrong.As I ... [Read the full post]
One of the inevitable side effects of technology is that people try to improve things that are already working perfectly well.A prime example is the ventilation controls in automobiles. Remember when your car had one big lever for hot and cold and a... [Read the full post]
As of this moment, my trench digging post has gotten over 70,000 hits. This is a new experience for me, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about it. It's like the carnival is in town or something. I've been linked to by EHOWA (warning: adult content... [Read the full post]
Dear 19 year old neighbor kid whom I’m paying eight bucks an hour to dig trenches:You probably won’t read this, but I’ve noticed that you have a lot of questions regarding your position in our organization, and I wanted to write down some answers so ... [Read the full post]
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