Mattress Police is the home of the insipid rantings of Rob Kroese AKA "Diesel." Mattress Police was a finalist for Best Humor Blog in the 2008 Weblog Awards.
Kroese is a writer and software developer living in Ripon, California, who only recently realized that the ABC song and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" ARE THE SAME SONG.
He runs Humor-Blogs.com, the number one directory of humor blogs on the web, and its sister site, Blog-Storm.com.
Kroese has recently completed his first novel, Mercury Falls, a humorous story of the adventures of a rogue angel at the brink of the apocalypse. Read more about Mercury Falls at the official Mercury Falls website.
Other than that stuff, his biggest achievement thus far has been getting most of the people he knows to call him "Diesel," which he mistakenly believes to be a really cool nickname.
Now that you know how cool Diesel is, you should do this stuff: